#$%&@ and GRRRR....

Today has been a crappy day.  I didn't have any caffeine until around 5:00 this afternoon, so that might have something to do with it..

More than likely the something that set me off has to do with people at work who cannot keep their mouths shut and throw others under the bus.  The others in question here is me.

Today I was called into the administrator's office.  Another teacher on campus wanted to file a grievance on me because I mentioned to my team that I saw her at a store.  Why should this be an issue?  Because she's out due to back issues.  So, the rest of my team, including the bus throwee's, begin to say sarcastic things about her being out.  Somehow this gets back to her, but the only person she has issue with and mentions by name is ME.  It turned into me seeing her at the store and hiding so I could spy on her.  Actually I saw her and walked down an aisle because I looked like shit and didn't want to talk to anyone that day.  It was said I stated that she should be at work if she can go to the store.  Yep, that didn't happen.

Thankfully, my administrator has my back, but the whole thing is just so frustrating.  I hate this part of my profession.  All the cattiness and the rudeness.  Too much estrogen floating around in the hallways. It's like high school and college mixed up into some miserable cocktail.

The whole thing is done and over.  I won't apologize to her because I didn't do anything wrong.  I was actually told not to apologize because it would seem like I did do something wrong, and it is clearly shown that I didn't.

What I would LOVE to do is to tell all of them to kiss the fattest part of my ass and shove it.  There was no reason for this to become an issue.  Yes I did see her.  Yes I did say something.  Yes I do think that it was suspect.  But I didn't say that part.

Blah.  I hate when this happens.  It just makes you feel crappy inside and start thinking, "Did I really do something wrong?"

But, meetings are going to be a lot quieter and a lot less gossipy.  We're going to stick to the point and be done.  My mouth is shut unless it has something to do with work.  Other than that, I'm zipped up.  I'm not having anything else inadvertently come back to bite me in the ass.

Until then,
Mel

I'm Turning Into "That Parent"...

Yes, I admit it.  I'm turning into one of the parents that annoy the crap out of me.  Carter started Kindergarten two weeks ago.  It's been two weeks of HELL.   My child is not the easiest to handle at times, but seriously.  He's had his folder signed half the days, he already has to sit alone, and today he peed in his pants because the art teacher refused to let him go to the restroom.

What the hell people?!  Part of the reason we moved to Mansfield was for the school district, and for this school.  It had great ratings, was relatively new, and we had heard good things about it from other Mansfield parents.  When my ghetto fabulous school is starting to look good, there's a problem.  

I'm hoping things get better as the year goes on... I really don't want to be 'that parent', but sheesh.  I emailed the principal about the peeing thing.  That's just unacceptable.  I'm waiting on an email from his teacher so I can get some more information about what he's doing in the classroom.  I can usually get him to tell me what he's doing (which he won't do for Jeremy!), and it's not terrible, just annoying things.  But, he's also only five, and only two weeks into a brand new experience.

Grr.  I think being a teacher is a lot easier than being a parent.  This part of the job blows.  If I'm this stressed out two weeks in, what kind of sorry shape am I going to be in another two year?!

Is it too late to homeschool?

Until then...
Mel

The last day of vacation :-(

Today is the last day of my summer vacation.  I'm sad because I have to start getting up early again, but honestly it'll be nice to get back on a schedule.  Granted, I could have stayed on a schedule all summer, but eh, it's summer.  I'm notorious for slumming and lazing around in the summer.

Carter starts Kindergarten this year.  I'm hoping he will do awesome and not have any behavior issues.  That's a problem sometimes.  I think he's more excited than anything else.  We've got to get some final things this weekend for him.  Then it's back to work for Inservice week.  That's the killer week.  When the kids show up, you just start doing what you already know to do.  Sitting through days of trainings is not fun!

I'm also hoping that I can start a better fitness regime once school starts back.  I've done really bad and gained weight I didn't want to gain.  Hopefully I can get it together.  I'm a little nervous because I'm getting older (34 on August 29), and I take my health for granted.  If I want to A) have another baby, and B) stay on this earth for Carter and said new baby, then I need to become more active and more conscience of my choices.

I'm feeling better though.  I got rid of the Mirena thing, so no more headaches, mood swings, or cramps.  I'll take a pill everyday over that mess!

Until then...
Mel

Trying again... take 2,848

I found my old blog (if you can call three posts a blog) tonight.  It is always the same old, same old.  I'm going to try, I'm going to do better, I can do this.  Then I find that I can't.  Or more precisely, I don't.  I can do it, I choose not to do it... then I complain about it.  It's not anyone's fault but my own.  So I guess I'll save myself the trouble of typing everything again, and just use the previous blogs as a sum up of what I need to try to do this time.

The past few years have had some rough spots.  Thankfully they are much better, but they did play a big part in the weight gain I had... but since they aren't an issue anymore (the problems, not the weight) I probably can't use them as an excuse.

I did work with my doctor in 2011 to lose weight. She prescribed me phentermine.  I was nervous to take it.  I didn't want anything bad to happen to me.  I did take it for about six months.  I lost a fair bit of weight (got down lower than I had been in my adult life).  Then, disaster.  

Jeremy and I had been having a lot of problems. Arguing, not communicating, just working on totally separate pages in life.  It finally came to a head in February 2012.  He moved out and we separated.  We didn't stay apart for long, just about a month or so, but it was so hard on me and I just kinda gave up trying to worry about what I was putting in my mouth.  If it was available, it went in my gullet.  Once we got back together, I tried to do a better job with my eating, but I had already done the damage.  I had gained back almost all the weight I had lost.

Fast forward to 2013.  Again, trying to work on the weight.  Tried counting calories.  Didn't like it.  Tried Weight Watchers again.  Didn't stick to it.  Tried exercise DVD's.  Didn't work with my knee (seems I have a bad left knee).  Ironically, I can't do the exercises they tell me to do to lose weight because I weigh so much and it puts too much pressure on my knee.  I did try pretty hard with the DVD's and I'm hoping to get back to a modified version with my workout buddy once school starts up again.  I've tried walking the neighborhood, but Texas is the equivalent of the seventh level of Hell heat, so it's difficult to get out before it gets dark.

So, I'm back to square one again.  I've lost a little bit of the weight, but nothing significant.  I'm still 23 pounds away from what I was before the poo hit the fan. I've tried to set myself a goal to be healthier and smaller by my 35 birthday.  I've got about a year.

Hopefully I can do it this time... 

:-) Mel

Working on it...

I'm working on trying to cut my portions in half. Did pretty well today except for the carbs. Damn carbs are going to get me everytime.

Really tired tonight. It's been a long day.

Figuring some things out

So I thought about my eating habits today. It's not pretty. I know the biggest issue I've got is not eating healthy enough. I am a teacher. Time isn't on my side during the school year. Plus, I've got to get the kiddo to school and try to get to work early enough that I can get stuff finished up so I can get the kiddo right after school to spend some time with him.

McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A, and Sonic have become my morning best friends. That's got to stop. Number one, it's extremely unhealthy, and Number two, it's affecting my bank account!

We went to the splash park today. Spent some time in the sun playing with little face. Then we went to have lunch with daddy. I didn't eat all of my food and I barely touched the chips and salsa (which is a RARE thing!) We had chicken clubs for dinner and I ate apples and string cheese for a snack. I've been drinking a lot of water as well. So, we will keep going with this and start the next phase soon: Exercise. Ergh.

On another note, I did a lot of cleaning and rearranging today; that should count for something, right?!

The beginning...

Ok, so I've never been a small girl. In fact, I can't ever remember a time when I wasn't overweight. I lost weight for my wedding, but I was still a big girl in a wedding dress.

This year I'm turning 31. I've decided that I have to do something or I won't be around to celebrate as many birthdays as I should. I know I've already compromised my health enough as it is...

I've got a husband and a 2 year old son. I realized today as I tried to chase after my toddler that it was a lot harder than it should be. You should NOT be out of breath after running the length of your hallway twice. Unfortunately, I was!

So, here we go. I have a plan in place. No fancy diet plans, no miracle pills. Just an attempt to change my lifestyle and make myself a healthier person. I KNOW I can do this. I don't want to have surgery or anything to make the weight come off. I want to do it on my own. I've started and stopped so many times, but I don't really ever give it a fighting chance.

We've got birthdays coming up this month, so there will be some cake. But aside from a piece of cake here or there and a birthday dinner, the plan is to eat at home, eat healthier, and cut down sodas to one a day (for some caffeine!)

Wish me luck blog world. Hopefully I can keep this up and not give in again. Encouragement is always appreciated!